pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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