Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
