I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
