ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
