I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
