i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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