I can't breathe out the right side of my face
well you can't waste a boner
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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