More tranny stories later!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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