i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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