She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
