ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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