well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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