dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
