she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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