ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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