We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
