I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
