we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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