Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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