On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
