dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
