4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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