Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
