the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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