Four minutes until I can fart!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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