even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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