You smell like a Billy Joel song
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Drake has all the answers
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
