he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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