I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
