feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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