I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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