Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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