So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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