I love black thongs
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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