I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think people are normalizing furries
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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