Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
