if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
soo... how was my night?
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