Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
