So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
