so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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