As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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