I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
