question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
