By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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