I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
