I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
