her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
