I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
