I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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