Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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