my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
