Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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